One side of the coin

Writing from a messed up state of mind. My heart is sinking, confused even after taking decisions, stuck in defining the rights or the wrongs! At times, you just HAVE to do somethings. You do not have choices. If you have the alternatives, they are not feasible. And that is the time, you lose your loved ones. You lose people who had trust in you, who believed you. A coin has two sides. We can just see one side of the coin at one time, the other is not visible to us. Mistrusting someone after just seeing the one side of the coin is equivalent to foolishness.

I have been doing pretty well, smiling since days now. Somewhere, down there in me... I have something which frightens me, even has the capability of killing me from inside. I am not letting that overpower my happiness, my smiles. Yes! I am being selfish! I never knew I can behave in that manner, but then yes! I am this only. Sometimes I feel understanding yourself is the primary task, the priority. Understanding others is 'long-way-to-go' for me.

I was holding sand, tried hard to hold. But the nature of sand is different. It can not be held tightly. The tighter you try to hold it, the faster it gets free from your grip.

Got to go! God bless! Ciao! Spread Smiles. I could not.

:) :) :) :)

Hello :) :) :) :)

I have loads of smiles on my face these days. I hope I am spreading some as well. :)

With time, life is changing. We have heard, 'the only thing constant in this world is change'. How true it is. My personal and professional, both lives are changing, I don't know to which way they are heading. But I am just happy, thankful and content with everything I am getting or may be I am losing somewhere in the journey.... I at times feel, we all welcome the positive changes and are very resistant to the negative ones. This is natural, but why do we do that? If you get an appreciation you feel amazing, if something negative happens it ridicules you. If we are welcoming one thing, why not welcome the other as well and atleast learn from it? I am really trying to accept everything coming my way! 'Everything' means actually everything! And may be thats the reason of my smiles. :)

My activity on this blog is becoming less, also, it is becoming very very close to my heart. Many kind people have acknowledged whatever little effort I put in while writing. This makes me understand how my writings are presumed. Generally, while reading we have some presumptions. I generally had the presumption while studying 'History', that it is boring. Similarly, may be when all the lovely people like you find time to read my writings you might have some presumptions. Some would call it really interesting, some would call it boring, some would even call it senseless! The best part is, after reading my blog, someone just said, I feel this is my heart out! I am really glad I could connect with someone through this.. through few of my thoughts.

I wish each one of us learn acceptance and accept smiles! :)

God bless! Ciao! :)

The difference...

Good Morning Readers!

I am loving this beautiful sunny morning today. :)

Yesterday, an old and closest friend of mine said.. "Nancy, you have changed.. you are not the same Nancy which I met more than a couple of years back. "This one sentence left me pondering over this. I couldn't say anything else than, yes! I have changed.

We do change with time, but our basic instinct remains the same.. isnt it? Still, we change. Each passing moment teaches us, each learning changes us. Now, it actually varies what the change leads to  - positivism or negativism. For me, its kinda mix of both. I have inculcated loads of + and - in me, which makes me, defines me, refines me. So, what is the problem if I am changing? This is me! If I am changing, things around me, people around me, which includes "YOU" as well, are changing me. I am affected by things. I am just like a normal human being, who gets impacted. I am not a super human! None of us is!! So, my point is.. if you are blaming somebody of his/her changed behavior, look at your "BIG" contribution in changing the other person.

I would say, I have evolved. People would call it 'changed'. I would say, I have grown-up. Even if I did not want to learn the hard realities of life, still I had to, and I did and I evolved/changed. Whatsoever! And just a question for all those who blame others for changing.. did you guys put a condition that you would only be there if I do not change?? I thought pure relations are unconditional.

Acceptance is needed.. Unconditional Acceptance. May be, a little deeper level of understanding helps too. I am really glad to say.. the friend who asked me the question, who made me ponder over it, accepts this full of faults 'Nancy' even. That is unconditional acceptance. I am glad I have friends like you all. I am really really obliged! Love you all !

Take Care! Keep Smiling! Ciao! :)

.............

The title of the post is something which conveys what is there in it. The title of my post is weird.. blank. May be it means, whatever I will mention is just blank, nothing. Actually yes. It is nothing, coz my mind is behaving such ways these days. Weirdly blank.

Where the whole world is completely drenched in love in this Valentine week. I somewhere find my own world a little blank. No reasons. Its not that there is lack of love around me. I am one of the few luckiest people in this whole wide world, as I am surrounded by love. Still why this vacuum?? Unanswerable.

It was so lovely to see people expressing love through roses yesterday. Even I asked a few people to give roses to their spouses! and yes, they did! Made me smile. :) When you are not married, you actually do every little thing like sending roses and all... but things tend to change after marriage. And that was one of the reasons, I so wanted them to express that they love through this little gesture. :)

I so wish that this Valentine Week could continue for 365 days! So that people could share and express more and more love. A week is really too short for this. One of my friends posted on FB a few days back... This Valentine Week is celebrated for expressing love. Then in the remaining days of the year, why don't we express it the way we do it now??

I may have an answer to this, making someone feel special actually can not be restricted to a few days. It completely depends, varies from person to person. I would say, time is just now. Future is uncertain. Let your loved ones know you care. :) Share love, spread love. :)

God bless you all! Ciao! Keep Smiling! :) :)

P.S.   I just changed my blog's colors to pink. Doesn't suit my personality though. :P But then, just for Valentine Week. ;) Will get back to my boring browns and blues soon.. ;)

Crazy!

'Crazy' .. !! A word used quite often these days. No harm in using it as such. Something has happened in last few days, which made me think over its actual meaning. 

In case of some physical ailment, whatever its intensity may be, it can be atleast easily understood if not cured (at times). But when it comes to mental ailments, its so difficult to even assess what the problem is. In such cases, understanding the root cause is such a tedious and also a really important task. I am quite saddened to see, how even kids are caught under "Depression" these days! How? What circumstances lead them to that state? Studies?? Pressure from Parents to excel? I don't know.. I really don't know how this little thing in head called 'brain' drives our thought process, how  do we get depressed, how we get exhilarated.. ? I just simply know people with any kind of mental ailment need utmost support. They need to know that they are really important. Then why do they are secluded in the mental hospitals, alone? far from their loved ones? I know they are harmful.. for society, for themselves even. But don't they require the 'needed' support the most at that time? 

People who are not physically well are taken to the doctors. Similarly, people who are mentally unwell are taken to their 'special' doctors. Thats it. Simple. Giving such patients special attention is required. But specially secluding them is not the right way. 

I just wish well for everyone around. Thinking too much over anything can never be a solution. Nothing is as important as life. It is such a special gift from Almighty... We have one life to live, the present moment to live... 

God bless! Keep Smiling.. Ciao .. 

Long awaited.. :)

Hi :)

The beginning of this weekend is so beautiful... Sunny morning, Makar Sankranti (Maghi in Punjab)..  a lovely friend's birthday, smiling faces around (apart from Deepika's, some people work on Saturday mornings too, uff!!)

It feels so good when we are living that moment which we waited for long. When you made all the preparations for something, when you planned for something, and the day when it materializes, an amazing feeling! Yes, I am going through that 'amazing' feeling. I am really elated and I am smiling. And when you are smiling, you actually tend to see everyone else smiling too :) :)

I don't really have much to write.. Just hoping the best for everyone around. Special wishes for the 'birthday' friend! God bless.. !!

Ciao.. :) n yes.. keep smiling! :)

A fiction..

She was in early 20s. Very beautiful, a face of one in a million. She was fair, tall, carried herself really well. Belonged to rich family, had all the privileges. Never studied in a co-ed environment. She did not had a great intellect, but was smart. When she got a chance to go out and see the world, she flew away. Guys were attracted to her. Everyone wanted to be with her. Girls were jealous to see her beauty. She did not talk to many people. She was proud of what she was. People started hating her due to her reckless attitude. She was not beautiful by heart. May be, she was too much into herself, she couldn't understand that others are important too. She got along with a few friends, girls, obviously little less than her in everything. It was a fruit to her ego that guys stared at her, and not at her friends. She liked demeaning them. May be, she wanted to be above them in everything! But friends were always there with her. She was with them, just for the sake of a company.

Many people loved her, she ignored. Still a guy loved her truly, from the core of his heart. He was not great looking, but knew love is everything he can bestow on her. And yes, he was successful to steal her heart away. She fell deep in love. She was all he needed. Movies, shopping, night outs, long drives, hugs, kisses... a beautiful life, he ever imagined. She loved the way he loved her. Things were amazing.

18 months passed by.. merrily. Unexpectedly, he saw her with some guy at the movies late in the night. She said the other guy is a friend. He trusted her blindly. Things moved on fine. They were still a happy couple. After a month, he saw the other guy on Facebook, as a friendly gesture, he sent a friend request. The other guy added. He went to his profile, saw the pictures. That guy was engaged, engaged to a girl 10 months back. To all his surprise, he was engaged to someone who looked just like 'her', the love of his life.

He met her in the evening, they went out for dinner. After spending a lovely time, he said, "I met a friend of yours on Facebook."
She: "Who?" She asked with wide eyes.
He: "With whom you were out at the movies that day.. "
She: "Oh! Then??"
He: "Then nothing.. you know what, he is engaged?"
She: ... .. .. <speechless, horrified, worried>
He: I was amazed to see... that girl, with whom he is engaged..  she looked just like you. And I am really sad, you did not tell me you have a twin sister? :(
She: .. .. .. <teary eyes, shivering hands>
He: Its okay if you did not tell me, wish her good luck from my side.
She, spoke with teary eyes: I got engaged, almost a year back.
He: Stop kidding!!
She: I am sorry, I lied all this time.
He: .. .. .. <quiet>
She: .. .. .. <crying>
He: Stop crying, we still are friends. I wish the best for you.
He dropped her home. His trust was broken. He still was there for her.

Time has moved on, she is getting married. He is still a good friend.

Why do boys have such big heart?? Why he couldn't hate her?? Why he trusted her so blindly?? Why she did all this to him??
Unanswered questions.. !!